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Archive for the Category "True Blood"

‘Fright Night’ is for real Feb 28

Fright Night (2011)A couple of years ago, I wrote an open letter to the TV and movie vampires of the world. That’s definitely worth a quick read, but if you’re pressed for time, it can be summarized by a simple question:

If blood is so tasty, then why do you leave so much of it on your damn face?

Well it seems that the vampire in the remake of Fright Night (played by Colin Farrell) read my post, because there are several scenes where he stops to lick the extra blood off his face and chin.

Finally — a vampire movie that pays attention to the details! Credit must be given to Marti Noxon (of Buffy fame) who wrote the smart screenplay, as well as director Craig Gillespie (of Lars and the Real Girl fame).

There are a number of really nice touches and surprises in this movie that make it a cut above most remakes out there. If you like your vampires more dark and broody, less sparkle and moody — then you’ll enjoy this film (which is now on DVD/Blu-Ray).

Anyone else pleasantly surprised by this movie?

Is quadruple mumbo jumbo killing True Blood? Jul 19

Blake Snyder

Blake Snyder, the late author of the superb screenwriting book, Save the Cat!, coined the term: “Double Mumbo Jumbo.”

I propose to you that, for some reason, audiences will only accept one piece of magic per movie. It’s The Law. You cannot see aliens from outer space land in a UFO and then be bitten by a Vampire and now be both aliens and undead.

That, my friends, is Double Mumbo Jumbo.

Of course, as Blake goes on to say, this rule is broken all the time in Hollywood. Sometimes it works fairly well — Monsters vs. Aliens. Most times it doesn’t — Howard the Duck (A trash-talking alien duck that has sex with Marty McFly’s mom — what could go wrong?).

Obviously True Blood is an adaptation, where characters and situations from the books need to be incorporated to stay true to the source material. I’ve never read the books, but I have to wonder — has the cable show gone off the rails recently?

More shapeshifters than you can shake a stick at

True Blood Mumbo JumboTrue Blood used to be my favorite show. In season one, it was an intense exploration of the vampire genre with very adult themes and a wicked sense of humor. Now it tends be more of a bizarre mishmash, where every other character turns into a different animal or creature.

We’ve seen vampires and demons and shapeshifters — who can turn into anything, and shapeshifters — who can only turn into wolves, and shapeshifters — who can only turn into panthers, and faeries and witches and possessed babies and now there’s talk of werewolves…

I don’t know how loyally Alan Ball has followed the Sookie Stackhouse books, but it seems to me there’s way too much mumbo jumbo going on in Bon Temps these days.

Why did Buffy work so well?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer had a very similar universe, and worked exceptionally well. So what’s the difference?

I think Buffy works, where True Blood doesn’t, on a few levels:

– Buffy had a lighter feel to it. The focus was usually on the snappy banter and most scenes were played for laughs. Whereas True Blood definitely has a darker tone. That more adult vibe makes it harder to get away with the sillier elements of the story.

– Every season of Buffy had a “Big Bad” — a main foe that the characters had to face. True Blood seems to be lacking that this year. Perhaps the witch lady is gearing up to fill those shoes.

– The core group of “Scoobies” on Buffy were usually pitted against one particular opponent. It was rare that two dissimilar foes would be brought into the picture per episode. You definitely can’t say the same for True Blood. It feels like there are a dozen different storylines per episode.

Anyone else think True Blood has suffered from some growing pains these last couple of seasons?

Dear TV and Movie Vampires Apr 30

Wipe Your Face!Dear TV and Movie Vampires:

As mesmerized as I am by your moonlit adventures, I continue to be confused by several aspects of your behavior. Most notably:

Why do you have so much blood on your face?!

I get it. You love blood. It’s colorful, iron-licious, life-sustaining and all that… but then why does so little of it end up in your damn mouth?

When I eat french fries and gravy, it’s something of a supernatural experience for me — so I can relate. But when I finish my plate and there’s even a weency bit of gravy left — I’ll sop it up with bread. If there’s no bread, I’ll sop it up with more gravy. Bottom line — if there’s any gravy left, it’s because someone’s hidden it from me.

If blood is at least as powerful a tonic to you and your kind, then there must be some other reason why so little of it ends up in your mouth.

False Advertising?

False  Advertising?
Since when do you
ever lick your lips?

Perhaps you are not really vampires. Maybe you are actors that hate the taste of corn syrup and food coloring, and are content to let it run down your face.

Or perhaps your director wants to make sure the viewers know what’s happening in the scene where you bite your victim’s neck with sharp fangs (because we’d all all be really confused if we only heard drinking noises and saw red teeth and lips afterwards).

Whatever the reason — having that blood, that you were so desperately craving moments ago, run down your face instead of into your gullet, breaks the fictive spell (the thrall if you will) of the viewer. It undermines all of the brilliant writing, tension, acting and plot twists that you’ve worked so hard to achieve up to that point.

TV and Movie Vampires — you need to sharpen your act… or possibly your teeth. Maybe that would improve your blood drinking skills.


Bloody Baffled

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