Riddle me this
You know those puzzles where you’re shown a picture and told there are a bunch of things wrong with it? Well, this is the screenwriting version of that puzzle, and you get to play detective!
In the following short scene, there are a number of problems I would flag if this were a proofreading assignment. Can you find them all?
INT/EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY (LATER) Ashlie is gritting her teeth behind the wheel as she eyes a sign; “Road Block Ahead”. ASHLEY (To himself) Your not gonna catch me pigs.
How many things did you find?
Please comment with your answer, below! I’ll be back tomorrow to update this post with my solution and explanation.
Incorrect format in slugline where time is specified.
Improper voice used to describe action.
Character name changes spelling between dialogue and action description.
Action line split mid sentence.
Parenthetical indicates a male tense which contradicts previous action line.
INT/EXT. HIGHWAY – DAY (LATER)
Ashlie is gritting her teeth behind the
wheel as she eyes a sign; “Road Block Ahead”.
ASHLEY
(To himself)
Your not gonna catch me pigs.
1. INT/EXT — [Well? Which is it?]
2. (LATER) — [Later than what?]
3. ASHLEY OR ASHLIE [Which is it? And I’m going to assume Ashley is a man’s name with “his.”
4. Is she really “gritting her teeth” right behind the wheel? Is she hiding?
5. Passive tense “is being used” here in the Action line. No. No.
6. WRONG use of semi-colon, dude. You want a colon there.
7. You’re…not your.
8. Since he’s speaking directly TO the “pigs” (under his breath), then it should be written, “You’re not gonna catch me, pigs.” Otherwise, it sounds like he’s speaking with a cockney accent and he’s saying, “You’re not gonna catch me pigs” (my pigs).
Probably lots more.