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Archive for 2011

Do you write active scene descriptions? Nov 16

Make your objects move!

There’s a reason that scene description is also known as “action lines.” It’s important that your descriptions contain the feeling of movement, even when none actually exists.

Here’s an example of a weak way to describe objects at a location (i.e. bad writing):

INT. CABIN – DAY

Stacks of dusty boxes are everywhere.  There’s a deer head on the wall.

Blech. How can we make that better? Let’s make the objects come alive with a couple of simple changes.

INT. CABIN – DAY

Stacks of dusty boxes pack the room.  A deer head stares from the wall.

Not fantastic writing, but you get the idea. Giving your objects an action (even though they’re not moving) brings your scene description to life.

There was no character in this scene. But if there was, one of the active ways to introduce objects in a scene is to have your character(s) interact with them.

For example:

INT. CABIN- DAY

Steve pushes through stacks of dusty boxes. A deer head stares at him from the wall.

And don’t forget to use the active forms of your verbs whenever possible.

Active Scene Description


Category: Scenes, Writing  | 2 Comments
New Script Proofreading Service Nov 14

New Script Proofreading ServiceProfessional Script Proofreading

In addition to providing insightful script notes, I’ve recently been proofreading screenplays for clients who have asked for it. I figure there might be others who could use a low cost proofreading service, so I’ve decided to make it an official option.

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As I’m sure you already know, typos and other mistakes can give the wrong impression to a reader. It’s a quick hop from believing a writer is sloppy, to believing the writing must also be sloppy, to giving your script a pass.

There are three things you can count on:

  1. Spell check won’t catch all of your errors.
  2. We all make mistakes that we become blind to after a while.
  3. There are still errors in your script!

So let me catch those mistakes before someone that really matters does.

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What’s The Best Part Of An Action Movie? Nov 14

Face/OffFace/Off

I hadn’t seen John Woo’s 1997 action masterpiece — FACE/OFF — for over a decade. So when it came on T.V. the other night, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to revisit (and try to remember) what I had loved so much about the movie in the first place.

Here’s what I quickly discovered… The best part of that action movie had absolutely nothing to do with the action.

In fact, when I first started watching it again, I thought it was horrible! Over-the-top action sequences. Cartoon-like villains. Ridiculous set-ups… It made me start to question everything I held dear in the action movie pantheon of my mind. What other cherished movies would crumble under the weight of mature, modern day scrutiny? Maybe those Ewoks really did ruin Return of the Jedi?

But then it happened… The movie got past its crazy set-up (an FBI Agent switches faces with a deranged killer in order to stop a bomb plot), and settled in to one of the most entertaining action movies of the last couple decades.

And it did it, not because of amazing action sequences (although there were many to follow). It did it because of the slower moments — the absolutely delicious scenes where each character had to impersonate the other character, and fool everyone around them, in order to achieve their agenda. We got to see Nicholas Cage doing an excellent uptight John Travolta, and John Travolta doing an exceptionally crazy Nicholas Cage.

On top of that there was a ton of dramatic tension — where we know more than the characters do. The killer and sex fiend comes in contact with an unknowing wife and daughter who thinks he’s their husband and father respectively — and pow! This movie becomes supercharged.

Better Than The Action?

Quite often in great action movies, the best or most enjoyable parts aren’t the “actiony” parts at all.

Let’s look at the quintessential action movie: DIE HARD. Quick, what’s your favorite scene?!

Is it the scene where John McClane meets Hans Gruber, who’s pretending to be a frightened employee, and gives him his gun? Is it John McClane cracking jokes in the air duct? How about that coked-out Ellis guy who liked to say words like, “booby” and “capiche”?

Hans... Booby! I'm your white knight.

Seriously, this guy was awesome.

There was a ton of brilliant, innovative action in that movie, but odds are you remember some of the quieter moments as much as the more animated ones.

It’s something to definitely keep in mind when you’re crafting your action story. Never neglect the scenes between the explosions, as they’ll probably be your most memorable ones, and what resonate most with your audience.

What’s your favorite action movie? Does it have equal parts brilliant action and brilliant drama?

Category: Action Movies  | 3 Comments
The Walking Dead Discussion Nov 10

The Walking Dead post has legs

Coolest Walker

My vote for the coolest zombie ever featured on The Walking Dead.

There’s been some great discussion happening in the comments section of the post about my Walking Dead gripes. I can always count on my Scriptwrecked readers to provide intelligent insights, answers and counterpoint to my posts.

It’s nice to know that there are many others out there whose brains don’t check out just because they’re watching a show about zombies.

One comment in particular was so comprehensive and thought-provoking that I’ve decided to promote it to regular blog post.

Here is “Vector’s” (RRL’s) commentary on some of the logic/science issues that plague The Walking Dead, as he answers the questions I posed.

I have similar questions about the logic of the Walking Dead also. I suspect some of the contradictions are set up deliberately by the writers to cause exactly what we are doing: debating about the show. Now matter what the debate, it’s good “buzz”. Anything to keep peoples interest in a show when it’s over is good.

Okay, that opinion is debatable so I won’t go any further with it. It could be just crappy writing. (Or simply deliberately throwing out logic for cinematic effect or budget)

Here’s my 2 cents on your 3 questions.

I’ll answer them in reverse order as that way one will lead to another.

3. How do you become a walker?

I believe that isn’t the real question you meant to ask. We all know you become a walker from physical transition of the virus (it’s not airborne) it must be transmitted through saliva or blood. There are many real viruses that are spread the same way, each with different levels of how easy they can be spread. The basic rules are a small amount of either blood or saliva in your blood stream is instant infection (from a bite or contusion). Contamination through the mucous membranes (blood or saliva in the eyes or mouth) and possible contamination through blood or saliva on the skin is possible. The problem is that is has never been made perfectly clear yet in the “Walking Dead” world every possible way the zombie virus can be specifically transmitted.

Some viruses can be transmitted through a simple touch of dry skin on dry skin, (of course others are so sensitive that they can be transmitted through close proximity, (airborne viruses), or even by being carried on an inanimate inorganic object (getting a cold from touching an infected doorknob) Most viruses are actually transmitted these latter, easier ways but that would not make for good cinema, unless the point was to wipe out everyone except the immune as fast as possible and focus on the survivors living in the post apoc world (as opposed to focusing on “trying not to get the virus”). BBC’s “Survivors” is one that comes to mind that uses the more realistic way of airborne transmission to good effect. (everybody dies quickly except the immune and the extremely isolated in artificial environments.)

Becoming a Zombie always is transmitted through physical means. It would be stupid if it was airborne. That would take out the “bite” factor that is key to the Zombie genre’s success.

What I really think you were asking is “what’s with all the dead uneaten bodies?” That situation doesn’t make much sense to me either, especially if they were uninfected. I won’t even try to come up with an explanation for that right now, hopefully it will be explained in future episodes. If not I’ll come up with something to justify the crappy writing.

The conclusion I’ve come to is that zombie infection only happens with blood to blood transmission. Saliva and through the mucous membranes might not be enough. That’s the only way I can wrap my head around it. It seems ridiculous that they seem careless when smashing zombie heads when they are afraid of the blood even getting on their skin, but it seems they are realizing that skin contact doesn’t matter. I just wish they would make it more clear.

2. Are the Walkers Dead or Alive?

What is your definition of alive? Spiritual? Biological? One of the definitions of “Alive” is simply “animated”. It’s a relative question that brings in spiritual debate whether the Zombification is supernatural or scientific.

In The Walking Dead it’s made clear that the brain dies. All the synapses that make cognitive thinking and bodily functions shut down, resulting in clinical brain death. The body is dead.
Then the virus takes over the motor part of the brain and uses the body as a host. The body reanimates but is now a vehicle driven by the virus. It is alive, but not the same lifeform it once was. What makes something alive only means that a spiritual or mental or artificial force is moving a “body”. If my brain could be implanted in a car and I still had all my current thoughts, but the car was now my body, wouldn’t that make it “alive”. Is that any different than when I drive a car now? I essentially make the car “come to life”. Does “life” have to rely on biology?
It’s all relative to your spiritual believes really. Take Wall-E for instance. he’s just a robot, no biomechanics, but he’s alive.

One theory is that the zombie virus can only live in the body while it is still “alive” so it’s main purpose is to make the body find food. If the virus just sat in a dead unmoving body, after time the body would dry up and decompose and the virus would die having nothing left to live off of being primarily a parasite.

Another motivation of why the zombies want to eat you could be just for the sole purpose of spreading. Maybe eating for sustenance has nothing to do with the virus and it is just a primal instinct left over in the human brain, the main purpose being the “bite” to spread the virus. The left over primal instinct (remember dude’s wife continually returning to her house?) brings up another point. There is still something left of the “real person”. Is it just residual memories? Is the person’s soul still in the body? Are they trapped knowing what is happening, not able to control? can they control a little? Just that opens up volumes for debate.

That brings up the point of why they eat? Is it just to spread the virus or do they really need the sustenance? Does their digestive system work? but they don’t breath and their heart doesn’t pump, or does it? I think it all does. Depending on how intact the body is would determine how long the zombie would live. All it needs is the brain and nervous system to move. but without a digestive system and a working heart the body would shrivel up and dry up and decompose within weeks. This brings up a whole new world of zombie debate. How much of the bodies systems that sustain life are working, what systems does the virus depend on for longevity?

Look up time lapses of decaying body experiments, it happens faster than you would think. Ever seen a deer on the side of the road dead that the DNR or DoT neglects? It doesn’t last very long (even without scavengers). In reality (a very twisted reality where there actually were existing zombies) I believe the problem would readily fix itself. The zombies would decompose very quickly (within weeks). There would be no flesh for the nervous system to control (it would all fall off the skeleton or be too mushy to pull on the bones). Animated skeletons are not zombies. Although there is plausible scientific explanation for the zombie theory (look up zombie insects and parasites(real world), it’s quite interesting) I’m sure moving skeletons can only be explained by the supernatural.

3. What are the walkers attracted to?

In the walking dead definitely smell. Pluchar’s theory of sight and sound first and smell to confirm makes sense but the plain truth is that the writers of Walking Dead are not sticking to their rules. There are times when only smell attracts the zombies. Sounds always definitely does. But there are times when smell doesn’t. Maybe it depends on the “mood” of the zombie at a given time. That’s the only explanation i can come up with for the zombies blood thirst at one moment and their indifference to scent at another. (perhaps it depends on the level of decay of their sensory organs)

Smelling isn’t only dependent on the nose either. You have to think of how smelling works. Small particles of something float in the air and land on special nerves in your nose. Those nerves send a signal to your brain”hey guess what I found in the air”. Those nerves could be anywhere. You could smell with your bellybutton if you were wired right. Some animals/insects “smell” with antenna, some with their tongue some with their skin. It all depends where the “smelling” nerves are branched out to from the brain. It could be possible that the zombie virus (being a virus that directly manipulates the nervous system, hence the walking) could manipulate the way your body smells (detects particles of something in the air). A zombie may still smell with his nose, but if it rots off he may be smelling with his eyes or ears.

just opinions, what are your thoughts?

RRL

The Walking Dead Gripes Nov 07

Safe Slaughter

The Walking DeadMy first gripe with The Walking Dead is that it’s only on once a week. Damn, that show is addictive.

My second gripe is more of an actual gripe. You know how those zombies are highly contagious ‘n junk, right? For instance, in the last episode they were worried about shooting the zombie in the well and contaminating the water supply.

Well then why in the hell is everyone so cavalier about killing the zombies and letting their juices splatter all over their faces? I’m a bit of a germaphobe, but if I were in that world, I’d be the guy in the HazMat suit. Barring that, I’d at least have a gimp mask, or something!

In the season opener. The sexy blond lady stabs a walker with a screwdriver, while screaming at it, with blood spattering all over her open mouth. In the latest episode, the black dude smashes the poor water logged zombie without even thinking about the resulting splash.

There are many more such instances from both seasons. How hard would it be to have the characters at least pull a scarf up over their mouths before Al Caponing the walkers? What’s with all the unprotected slaughter?

Obey the rules of your own universe

When you’re crafting a story, it’s so important to obey the rules of your own universe.

Say you have enchanted stone warriors in your story who can crash through solid cement walls. Well then you can’t have those same warriors succumbing to a punch by Brendan Fraser in the next scene! It takes the believability down a notch.

So here are some things I’m genuinely confused with about The Walking Dead. If there are any super fans out there, perhaps you can enlighten me.

1. What are the walkers attracted to?

In the first season, the zombies could smell the humans. There was even one scene where the good guys had to smear themselves with zombie guts to disguise themselves.

Yet in this season, whole herds of zombies can pass by a bunch of sweaty humans hiding underneath cars. Hell, they even passed by the black dude who had a gaping wound in his arm. Couldn’t they smell the blood? Isn’t it like the scent of freshly cooked popcorn to them?

The Walking Dead
Quick, hide under a car!
In Season 2 it’s like a zombie forcefield.

2. Are the walkers alive or dead?

So I kinda liked the scientific explanation of the walkers at the end of season one. There’s some small primitive part of the brain that is still alive or some such. That avoids the supernatural angle.

But then that raises all kinds of questions. If a small part of the brain is alive, then doesn’t that mean the zombies are alive?

They eat food. We saw the contents of one of their stomachs. So does that mean their digestive system is still working? Maybe these zombies just need a better PR guy.

3. How do you become a walker?

In that big traffic jam they find themselves in this season, there are a bunch of dead bodies just lying around. What did they die of, starvation? Wouldn’t the zombies have feasted on them while they were still alive? And if they did feast on them, wouldn’t that have turned them into zombies?

And if the zombies feast on bodies until there’s almost nothing left, then how come most of the walkers are so intact?

I love The Walking Dead. These are smallish issues, but they do reduce my enjoyment of the show.

Anyone else have a problem with these things, or do I just need to access more of my zombie brain while watching?

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