Fee Protection Agreement
Subscribe to feed via email:
Subscribe RSS
How To Improve Your Spec Screenplays Mar 08

How To Improve Your Spec Screenplays

by Michele Wallerstein

I’ve read and worked on spec screenplays for about a million years. During these years I’ve discovered that almost all new writers (and some old ones) seem to make the same mistakes in their work.  There are some things that don’t seem to become clear to writers in their screenwriting classes or the books that they read or even the seminars that they listen to.

I’d like to share some hints with you to make your work better.  Perhaps you will even find that this information will help you get your work finished and sold more quickly.

In terms of story, most new writers seem to want to complicate their work to make it stand out and be “different” from the rest of the pack.  They will add flashbacks and flash forwards; they will add dream sequences and throw in lots and lots of small character roles to advance the plot structure.   They will add lots of twists and turns in the plot to make the script seem more unique and interesting.  Indeed many movies you see will have all of the aforementioned and can be wonderful.  They are complicated and busy.  These films may have dozens of extraneous characters that seem to enliven the project.  These screenplays and films have absolutely nothing to do with your spec scripts.

A spec script is a world unto itself.  There are unwritten rules that apply and should be strictly adhered to if you want to get through those Hollywood doors.  Your spec scripts need to do two things:  (1.) They are your calling cards to show your writing prowess, and (2.) They are available for potential option with the possibility of a sale and eventual production.  For the most part the former is more likely then the latter.  Selling a spec that gets produced by a major studio is a one-in-a-zillion chance.  These specs need to get you meetings so that you can make the right connections.  These connections can lead to representation by agents and managers as well as to possible writing assignments.  That’s how you build a writing career.

Here are the most common trouble spots that ring alarm bells for the reader:

  1. Too much description.  This, alone, can destroy your chances of the reader going past page 4.  When you write a spec it is not necessary to describe a character’s mood, the basic décor of a room, the size of the building, the color of their clothes, the weather and their facial expressions.  All of this information, if you feel it is important to the script, can and should be told in dialogue.
  2. Too many stage directions.  A reader doesn’t need or want to know that the main character poured a cup of coffee, walked across the room, looked out the window, made their bed, opened the door and walked through it or exactly how many punches were thrown in a fight scene.  We don’t need to know the lyrics to the background music or any steadicam shots.  All of this type of information simply stops the reader from a smooth reading flow.  It is deadly to your project.
  3. Too much exposition.  We don’t want to know the ages of peripheral characters or what they are wearing or even if they are male or female.  The cashier at the drugstore is simply “the cashier”.  The waiter is simply “the waiter”.  Do not direct the movie.  Leave that to the actual Director.  These small choices are not really yours to make, nor will they enhance the story or get the reader involved in the characters and plot.  Too much explanation of the scene is a bad thing.
  4. Watch that dialogue.  It is the most important part of your spec work. To catch the attention of the agents, producers and development people there is only one thing that will make them take notice of you.  That is your dialogue.  Using dialogue simply to advance the story is not enough.  Give those main characters interesting personalities.  Make them into fascinating individuals with fears, foibles, interesting character traits and flaws.  Give them a sense of humor in a dark scene, make them sensitive or overly crude, have them suffer from sinusitis or headaches… and tell all of this in your DIALOGUE.
  5. Stop describing the character’s moods and/or attitudes prior to each piece of dialogue.  We want the dialogue to express their feelings.
  6. Keep your page count down to 109 or less.  Remember that this is a show piece not a shooting script.

Your script should be simple and fun to read.  You will be remembered and you will get that phone call.  Every script is rewritten along their way to production so lean writing is your key.

– KEEP WRITING –


Michele Wallerstein is a Screenplay & Novel & Career Consultant and author of “MIND YOUR BUSINESS: A Hollywood Literary Agent’s Guide To Your Writing Career“.

Web site: www.novelconsultant.com

If you like this post, please share it:
  • email
  • Print
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
Oscar Themed Links Mar 07

Hurt Locker (Tavis Coburn)In anticipation of the 82nd Academy Awards celebration tonight, I’ve collected a few cool Oscar themed links:

* Tavis Coburn, of The Dutch Uncle Agency, created vintage style movie posters for all the British Academy Film Awards nominees (which are also up for Oscars).

* All of the Oscar nominated Animated Shorts are online. In my opinion, Logorama gets top marks for a highly original, hilarious, and sometimes shocking, tale. This movie may result in a lifetime of trademark infringement lawsuits for the creator, but that’s a small price to pay for an Academy Award nomination right?

Listed according to my ranking:

1) “Logorama” Nicolas Schmerkin (Part 2 here)
2) “A Matter of Loaf and Death” Nick Park
3) “Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty” Nicky Phelan and Darragh O’Connell
4) “French Roast” Fabrice O. Joubert
5) “The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)” Javier Recio Gracia

* Sandra Bullock (nominated for a Best Actress Oscar) brings humor and perspective to the Razzies by showing up to accept her award for Worst Actress.

* There were two trilogies in which all three films were nominated for Best Picture. Can you name them? Here are 10 of the “Best Facts about the Best Pictures.”

If you like this post, please share it:
  • email
  • Print
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
Q & A with Michele Wallerstein Mar 05

Do you have a question that you’d like to have answered by a longtime Hollywood literary agent? Send it in!

questions@scriptwrecked.com


Question: (Susan Bridges)

My writing partner and I have submitted a screenplay and one sheet to a production company. From the communication I’ve had with the assistant thus far, they’re not considering the screenplay itself but instead are considering us to work with them on their own projects.

My question is, how long should I wait to follow up with them, and what should I say when I do? We do not have representation, if that is relevant.

Answer: (Michele Wallerstein)

It sounds as if you have already been following up by checking in with the assistant. Without knowing when you submitted the screenplay I will have to give you a rule of thumb to guide you further. It usually takes 2-3 weeks for a script to be covered by a reader in the company, then there is another wait for the upper echelon of the company to look it over. The producers themselves only look at material that has received very positive coverage from their readers. Apparently you have received good coverage.

It is good to check in again after a total of 3-4 weeks. You need to ask if the producer has seen the script and if the answer is yes, they will either put you through to him or her, or they won’t take the call, nor will they call you back. If people like your work they will want to meet you and will call. If they want you to do work on one of their projects it is fairly easy to call an agent and ask them to negotiate on your behalf. After all… they will get 10% of your fee. Everyone likes a "gimme."


Michele Wallerstein is a Screenplay & Novel & Career Consultant and author of “MIND YOUR BUSINESS: A Hollywood Literary Agent’s Guide To Your Writing Career“.

Web site: www.novelconsultant.com

If you like this post, please share it:
  • email
  • Print
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
Montage Format – Part 2 Mar 03

Montage Pt 2Recap

Jim Sarantinos had asked: “Can you tell me how to format montage sequences?”

In Part 1 of this article, I started off my response by listing the order of operations I usually follow for exploring any type of script formatting issue:

1. Search JohnAugust.com for tips
2. Refer to Christopher Riley’s book, The Hollywood Standard
3. Refer to David Trottier’s book, The Screenwriter’s Bible
4. Consult my library of scripts and Scott Myers’
    GoIntoTheStory.com
5. Use what makes sense to me. Throw out the rest.

We covered number 1 last time, with John August’s recommendation for formatting single-location montages.

But what if you have multiple locations, or different times (i.e. DAY and NIGHT)?

Formatting Guides

There are two industry-standard script formatting guides that address both these scenarios quite nicely.

The first is Christopher Riley’s, The Hollywood Standard. After all, it’s the book that finally convinced John August (at least for the time being) that he didn’t need to write about screenwriting format any longer.

The second is David Trottier’s, The Screenwriter’s Bible. It’s a little older, but also provides numerous examples to help you understand the points being made.

MONTAGE vs. SERIES OF SHOTS

A quick word about these two devices. Both guides will tell you that MONTAGE and SERIES OF SHOTS can be used interchangeably, however MONTAGE is much more commonly used.

In general, a MONTAGE is used for those longer sequences that you typically see set to music, and usually focuses on a theme or concept (e.g. JACK AND DIANE ENJOY THE BEACH).

A SERIES OF SHOTS is typically comprised of quick, short shots to rapidly convey a story segment (e.g. TIMMY SNEAKS OUTSIDE). So if it’s helpful, think MONTAGE (MUSIC) / SERIES OF SHOTS (SHORT STORY). And when in doubt, just use MONTAGE.

But honestly, either way, no one’s likely to throw your script out just because you used MONTAGE instead of SERIES OF SHOTS or vice versa. While some purists may disagree, there are no hard and fast, right and wrong rules here.

FORMATTING EXAMPLES

Remember, when considering all of these examples, we need to heed John August’s words:

My advice is to pick the simplest version that gets the point across. You may find that you’re using two or three different formats in a single script, depending on the needs of each sequence.1

So I’ll try to move from basic to more complex…

Example 1: Basic

MONTAGE

Jack and Diane stroll arm-in-arm along the sidewalk.  They see a contorted mannequin, its head faces the wrong way.  Diane winces.  Jack laughs.

They share a plate of spaghetti at a patio restaurant.  Diane dangles a single noodle from her lips, wants Jack to play along.  He grabs the other end of the noodle in his mouth.  Slurps it up in one quick motion.  Cheers like he’s just scored a touchdown.

An old romantic film plays at a theater.  Diane rolls her eyes at the screen.  Turns to Jack.  He stares, riveted, teary eyed.  She smiles.

END MONTAGE

Notes:

1) If the montage is short enough (as above), you can simply use a new scene heading to denote that it has ended (instead of END MONTAGE).

If you feel like adding a little descriptor of what the montage is all about, that’s common/acceptable as well. For example, the above montage header I could have written something like: “MONTAGE – JACK AND DIANE’S FIRST DATE”

Example 2: Indented

Here, double lines are used.

MONTAGE

-- Jack and Diane stroll arm-in-arm along the sidewalk.  They see a contorted mannequin, its head faces the wrong way.  Diane winces.  Jack laughs.

-- They share a plate of spaghetti at a patio restaurant.  Diane dangles a single noodle from her lips, wants Jack to play along.  He grabs the other end of the noodle in his mouth.  Slurps it up in one quick motion.  Cheers like he’s just scored a touchdown.

-- An old romantic film plays at a theater.  Diane rolls her eyes at the screen.  Turns to Jack.  He stares, riveted, teary eyed.  She smiles.

You can also have some fun with this method and make sure the secondary lines match the indent of the first line:

MONTAGE
-- Jack and Diane stroll arm-in-arm along the sidewalk.  They see a
   contorted mannequin, its head faces the wrong way.  Diane winces.
   Jack laughs.
-- They share a plate of spaghetti at a patio restaurant.  Diane dangles
   a single noodle from her lips, wants Jack to play along.  He grabs the
   other end of the noodle in his mouth.  Slurps it up in one quick motion. 
   Cheers like he's just scored a touchdown.
-- An old romantic film plays at a theater.  Diane rolls her eyes at the
   screen.  Turns to Jack.  He stares, riveted, teary eyed.  She smiles.

Example 3: Scene Headings

Some production companies and studios like you to list a location for each shot…

MONTAGE

-- Sidewalk – Jack and Diane stroll arm-in-arm .  They see a contorted mannequin, its head faces the wrong way.  Diane winces.  Jack laughs.

-- Patio restaurant – They share a plate of spaghetti. Diane dangles a single noodle from her lips, wants Jack to play along.  He grabs the other end of the noodle in his mouth.  Slurps it up in one quick motion.  Cheers like he’s just scored a touchdown.

-- Old theater – Diane rolls her eyes at the romance on screen.  Turns to Jack.  He stares, riveted, teary eyed.  She smiles.

See how I had to change up the descriptions a little to avoid the redundancy of the location?

If you’re already adding in locations, and you want to be sure to indicate the shift in times, you could also do the following:

MONTAGE

-- EXT. SIDEWALK – DAY -- Jack and Diane stroll arm-in-arm.  They see a contorted mannequin, its head faces the wrong way.  Diane winces.  Jack laughs.

-- EXT. PATIO RESTAURANT – NIGHT -- They share a plate of spaghetti. Diane dangles a single noodle from her lips, wants Jack to play along.  He grabs the other end of the noodle in his mouth.  Slurps it up in one quick motion.  Cheers like he’s just scored a touchdown.

-- EXT. OLD THEATER – NIGHT -- Diane rolls her eyes at the romance on screen.  Turns to Jack.  He stares, riveted, teary eyed.  She smiles.

END MONTAGE

Again, here I changed things slightly, adding a double dash after the more official scene heading. I also used the END MONTAGE just to avoid any confusion as to where the montage ended (because full scene headings were used inside the montage).

Example 4: Series of Shots

SERIES OF SHOTS – TIMMY SNEAKS OUT

Timmy’s eyes open.  He yanks his bed covers off, already dressed with sweats and shoes.

Gentle footsteps, as he makes his way down the hallway.

He searches the fridge.  Stuffs his face with cookies.  Looks around.

At the front door.  He pulls on a woolen facemask.  Looks like a midget bank robber.

He tiptoes outside.  Turns back to look at the house.  Trips, CRASHES over two bags filled with CANS.

All the lights in the house turn on. His mom peaks her head out the window.

Remember, a SERIES OF SHOTS typically tells a short contained story segment. As with MONTAGE I could have left off the “TIMMY SNEAKS OUT” part. It just depends on the flavor of your script and if you want to use the heading option for clarity.

An alternate method is to use alphabetized letters to delineate the shots:

SERIES OF SHOTS - TIMMY SNEAKS OUT
A) Timmy's eyes open.  He yanks his bed covers off, already dressed
   with sweats and shoes.
B) Gentle footsteps, as he makes his way down the hallway.
C) He searches the fridge.  Stuffs his face with cookies.  Looks around.
D) At the front door.  He pulls on a woolen facemask.  Looks like a midget
   bank robber.
E) He tiptoes outside.  Turns back to look at the house.  Trips, CRASHES
   over two bags filled with CANS.
F) All the lights in the house turn on.  His mom peaks her head
   out the window.

Of course, you could also call it a MONTAGE and use the lettered approach as well.

MONTAGE - THE FIRST DATE
A) EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY

   Jack and Diane stroll arm-in-arm.  They see a contorted mannequin,
   its head faces the wrong way.  Diane winces.  Jack laughs.
B) EXT. PATIO RESTAURANT - NIGHT

   They share a plate of spaghetti. Diane dangles a single noodle
   from her lips, wants Jack to play along.  He grabs the other
   end of the noodle in his mouth.  Slurps it up in one quick
   motion.  Cheers like he's just scored a touchdown.
C) EXT. OLD THEATER - NIGHT

   Diane rolls her eyes at the romance on screen.  Turns to Jack.
   He stares, riveted, teary eyed.  She smiles.

And that’s enough for montages for another day! Just save this series so you’ll have it to refer to when you need it.

In the conclusion of this thrilling three part saga, we’ll consult my script library and check out Scott Myers’ web site gointothestory.com.

We will need it for handling some tricky montages that include dialogue and span multiple days or years. There will also be some formatting surprises from well known montages used in films.

Until next time… I’ll leave you with the video that taught me everything I know about montages. :)

If you like this post, please share it:
  • email
  • Print
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
Category: Formatting  | 2 Comments
Miscast Classic Films Mar 02

Let’s all breathe a collective: “Phew!”

Dan Meth peeks behind the showbiz curtain to bring you the Hollywood that could have been. Some of cinema’s greatest film roles, as played by some of [the] actors initially considered for them.

 

Video Link via Neatorama

If you like this post, please share it:
  • email
  • Print
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon